I have a lot to say. I want to write often, but I always stop, in fear of what people will think. When I think about it, I have to laugh. One person has a link to my blog, and I know she isnt going to judge my thought. Not after years of being so non judgmental. I havent been overly social lately. With anyone. My bi polar moods sometimes swing so fast, I dont like to have anyone catch the wrath of it. I know it makes my moods spiral to be anti social, I know that even a simple conversation with the check out clerk at the grocery store can boost my mood. I am a people person. I need people. But I fear myself. My mother worded it right. She said to me "I think sometimes I am accidentally inappropriate." That is a perfect way of describing it. Sometimes I am inappropriately angry, over simple silly things that strike a wrong chord. Sometimes I am overly open, spilling more details about certain topics, that other people really didnt need to know. Occasionally I catch myself, think about it, and do it anyways. Not because I dont care about social graces, but because I want the listener to understand EXACTLY what I am trying to convey. I always regret this "quirk" about me showing up.

Today wasnt a great day, but it wasnt a horrible day. It has the potential though. My dear darling husband is due home any minute, and with my mood so precariously balanced on this side of sane, one can never predict how I will feel. Chances are I can make it through the night without causing a fight. Chances are also that I will have hurt feelings before dinner. Perhaps I am too sensitive. Let me rephrase that. I am too sensitive, but I have yet to find a way to dull my emotions any more than they are.